ADHD Relationship Books That Actually Help

Like all other relationships, ADHD relationships are tough--but in one way unique---one or both partners have Adult ADHD. Enter: Baggage.

In my last blog post (read here) I talked about how my husband supports me and helps me manage my ADHD symptoms. I also mentioned some ADHD relationship books that really helped navigate our marriage through difficulties we had/have, while also highlighting issues we had no idea were attributed to ADHD.

Since today is World Book Day, I did a little bit of research on these books below, hoping to make it easier for you to understand which book (or all of them) could help navigate difficulties in your ADHD marriage / relationship.

1. The ADHD Effect on Marriage: Understand and Rebuild Your Relationship in Six Steps by Mellissa Orlov

About the author: Melissa Orlov: Author and ADHD Marriage Consultant
Melissa Orlov is a marriage consultant, consulting couples affected by ADHD. Harvard grad published author, and contributor to psychology and ADHD media outlets, Orlov is an exceptional source for ADHD marriage support. (Source: additudemag.com)

Amazon rating: 4.5 stars
Book Ranking: #27 in Attention Deficit & Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder

Who should read: Written for people with ADHD in a relationship with someone who doesn’t have the disorder. But, I do believe it is beneficial for both members of the relationship to learn how to work through issues in their marriage.

Brief Summary: Written in a way to guide couples struggling with ADHD related issues to a deeper understanding of the positives and negatives of the disorder in a relationship. Traditional marriage counseling can discount the influence of ADHD, instead, Orlov offers advice from personal experience and years of research and identifies patterns of behavior that can hurt marriages/relationships. (Source: Amazon )

Favorite Quote:

“You and your spouse are much different than you realize” (pg. 82)

Orlov goes on to explain how if you have ADHD, you may not understand or realize the impact your ADHD has on your non-ADHD partner. This was one of those “ahh” moments for me. She’s right, I really was unaware of how much my ADHD affects my husband and child.

2. The Couple's Guide to Thriving with ADHD by Mellissa Orlov

Amazon rating: 4.5 stars
Book Ranking: #116 in Attention Deficit & Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder

Who should read: I feel that this book was written for those who are in a relationship with a man who has ADHD. As a woman with ADHD, I did find that some issues/struggles/management techniques weren’t really applicable to me. But overall This is a great read for the ADHD partner and non-ADHD partner. Written to give hope that the relationship can work, both parties are required to take necessary steps to improve the marriage.

Brief Summary: Adults with or without undiagnosed ADHD, struggle to navigate symptoms. In a relationship this can become frustrating and fill both sides with hopelessness. This book provides strategies couples can implement in their relationship to grow towards a happier and healthier marriage. (Source: Amazon )

Favorite Quote:

“When things don’t go as planned, they (couples) consider it a learning experience rather than a failure, and experiment again -- this time honing their efforts a bit” (pg 5).

I often need to be reminded that failure doesn’t mean my efforts are pointless. This book really helps to encourage the evaluation of a situation, and moving on with better knowledge about how to handle similar situations in the future. This really applies to both sides.

3. Is It You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.? Stopping the Roller Coaster When Someone You Love Has Attention Deficit Disorder by Gina Pera

About the author: Gina Pera: Journalist and Author
Gina Pera is an award-winning author and contributor to various psychology and ADHD outlets. (Source: psychologytoday.com )

Amazon rating: 4.5 stars
Book Ranking: #58 in Attention Deficit & Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder

Who should read: This book is geared towards both partners in a relationship affected by ADHD.

Brief Summary: “Everyone knows someone with adult AD/HD. Yet we misattribute the symptoms to anxiety, depression, or even laziness, selfishness, or moodiness.” (Amazon) This book acts as a guide to self-awareness and understanding behaviors that have gone unnoticed. Helpful information, real-life struggles, and simple to follow steps, help couples find treatment options and a path to a more joyous relationship.

Favorite Quote:

“Is It You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.?” (Title Page)

That’s right the title is my favorite quote. It’s a phrase that I’ve asked myself in every adult relationship I’ve had (romantic and platonic). The book really does a phenomenal job of making you aware of ADHD symptoms in yourself and in others.

These are just a few books I've read that have really helped me. I hope this "book report" can help you find the resources your relationship needs.

I'd love to hear your recommendations for ADHD books (doesn't have to be relationship-focused). Leave some suggestions in the comments for me to check out.

These are just a few books on my wishlist that I haven't gotten around to reading yet. Have you read any of them? Let me know!

Shop my Instagram:

All found on Amazon, under $25.I'm wearing this fleece Quarter-Zip Sweatshirt in the Deep Pine color, size Large. I could have ordered a Medium but I wanted it to be a bit baggy. It's super cozy. These Studio Sculpt High-Rise Full-Length Yoga Legging are a loungewear must. They are really great quality for the price, but not "squat proof." I bought this pack of Stainless Steel Rounded Hoop Earrings Set (Nickel Free) because I think the size of the earrings represents the size of your mood. HAHA!